I often get emails from women who tell me that their husband's cheating has shaken their faith in their marriage and in themselves. They worry that they are no longer attractive, competent, and sexy. SharekAlomre.com review I often hear comments like "I feel so ugly and undesirable." Or "how could I have been so stupid? This has affected the way that I feel about myself. " Or, "I've always been self confident and had reasonably high self esteem but this affair has made me doubt my own attractiveness. I am so insecure now and it makes me angry and sad."
In the following article, I will offer some tips on how to overcome these feelings in order to restore your self worth, self esteem, and self respect.
Understand That His Cheating Often Has Very Little To Do With You: Many wives do not believe me when I say this, but very often, his cheating is not the direct result of anything that has to do with you or your marriage. Many people will tell me that this makes absolutely datinggroup.in no sense, but if you do some research, you will see that most men have affairs or cheat as a way to quiet their own self doubt or restlessness.
If you read interviews (and even my blog comments) from men who cheated, you will almost overwhelmingly see that, after the fact, they are very sorry and they still love their wives, but that they were looking for some relief for their own issues in the wrong place. They will typically only realize this once the mistake has been made, unfortunately.
I know it is almost impossible to not take this personally, but if you could read your husband's thoughts, you might see that his actions were the result of his own insecurities and personal issues. Now, RussianBrides.com review that's not to say that your marriage or your relationship does not need some work or improvements. But, at the core of this issue is often the actions of a confused, impulsive, and often regretful man. Don't confuse this for any shortcomings on your part. These shortcomings very often just aren't there and there's no reason for you to take even more on your shoulders when these actions were not your own.
Do Not Base Your Feelings About Yourself On Someone Else's Misplaced Actions: To expand on this even further, try to think of this as though it were not you that was involved. What if your best friend was in this same situation and came to you for advice? You would likely tell her that her husband's huge mistake does not mean that there is anything wrong with her, and that in fact she is a beautiful person inside and out, right? Why does this same advice not apply to you?
You are still the same person that you were on the day before you found out about his cheating. Yes, there have been hard times and there are tough issues that you will have to work through, but please do not allow some actions that you did not take and over which you had no control to affect the way that you feel about yourself. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologize for.
His mistake does not mean that you are any less beautiful, any less intelligent, and that you have any reason to not feel as secure that you have always felt. You are not the person whose actions have made them appear less attractive and less intelligent. That would be your husband. You may chose to forgive this and you may not. But who you are does not need to change. Always safeguard your well being. You owe this to yourself and you deserve this inner peace.
Be As Selfish As You Need To Be To Safeguard Your Self Esteem: There is nothing wrong with focusing on yourself right now. In fact, I often encourage precisely this. Sure, your marriage may also need your attention in the coming days and months. But nothing should be as important right now as yourself. You have been dealt a very cruel blow and as the result, you must be gentle with yourself. I know that it is often your inclination to focus on him, but you must also give yourself the same attention and care.
You must be as kind and as nurturing to yourself as you can possibly manage. Because if you move forward with self doubt and insecurity, this is going to negatively affect every area of your life. You do not deserve this. Restoring your confidence and your self esteem is going to affect many other areas in your recovery. It will make this process easier and it will make any upcoming decisions easier.
And it's important that you do this for yourself and no one else. Dig deep to uncover what it is that is going to restore your confidence and the peace in your heart. I did work on my personal appearance, but I limited myself to things that had bothered me long before my husband cheated. This did help. But it was the self care work that helped me the most because it reinforced the belief that I was worth these efforts and that I had made myself strong enough to deal with whatever came my way. This in turn helped to make moving forward a little easier.
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